Sometimes we have to remind ourselves WHAT WE ARE MADE OF or others will nudge us, challenge us, coax us, or cheer us until we find the internal switch to our self belief that we can get to the other side.
This week has had its ups and downs. Monday started the week off with a coached bike session to working on acceleration and out of the saddle skills and short intense intervals to awaken the FAST TWITCH muscle fibers. As I do more intense work, recovery has been an issue and my energy levels dropped very low. I did the ONE Masters Swim on Wednesday and a tempo run and yoga in the evening. I ended up with 2 rest days this week feeling like I was coming down with a bug and even skipped a SPLASH and DASH I had registered for. I have never missed a prepaid race in my life. By Friday, I had enough energy to do an interval workout on my bike rollers and Saturday a 50 mile bike ride.
Since I am training for half and full Ironman distance events in the not so distant future, the long ride had to go on before our local Esprit de She race in Tempe. I was signed up for the Olympic Distance race and went in without any time commitment but the goal was to work on my swim and bike technique and bike skills that I have been working on and "run the run" (hoping that I can find a faster gear). May races in Phoenix are not known to be cool. I thought it would be ok because I would be done before it got into the 80s. The good news is that the water temperature was 74 so it was a wetsuit legal race. There were only 2 waves for the Olympic Distance: the young and the old! Well, I got to start with the big girls. I was not feeling my usual calm and my stomach was a little funny this morning. I knew once I hit the water, I would quickly shift into race mode. I take a front row spot now because I end up first in my age group, so why not. Maybe I started out a little too hard, because I was not feeling the love in the water today. The sun is always in our eyes and I just followed the ripples in front of me. I felt a little winded today and like the water was a bit heavy (or maybe that was me). I finally found my rhythm in the last 500 yards, but this was no Ironman, so I had to get out and face the rest of the day. My time was still reasonable and good enough for first in my age group out of 17 and 10th overall out of 139 (we are talking about the swim people). I know I can go faster. I am always the same in the water. Swim done. Wetsuit stripped. Now the long run in as I parked my bike close to the "bike out" arch. I could not get the grass that was glued onto my feet off and my socks gave me some grief. It seems that I am always fumbling with getting dressed and trying to grab my bike. Maybe I should do transition "speed work". The bike was a 2 loop course. On the first loop, there were multiple races going on including sprint, supersprint and duathlon events with many first timers who did not know the rules of the road so much blocking and drafting was happening and you just had to do the best you could under the circumstances. It was fun to try and catch and pass people even if they were riding on fat tires as for on the second loop, it was very lonely and desolate and it was hard to keep the pace going. My chain dropped off twice during the bike switching into the big ring going down hill so I had to dismount and reposition chain 2 times. I am an expert at this as I have been having issues with my chain for a while, so back to the shop we go! I ended up finishing 5th in my age group on the bike. T2 was fine, still stumbled a little. I looked down at my watch and knew I needed to run 10 minute miles to break 3 hours and then I never looked at my clock again. I was following nutrition recommendations and delayed eating until near end of bike ride when I took 100 calorie Endurabyte, which tasted good the first time I tried them (honeymoon tasting effect), but during the ride seemed a little dry. I was taking salt tabs as well. I headed into the run making sure I had enough salt as I was going to drink water and use 1 Huma gel when I needed a boost. Well, I was needing a boost pretty quickly but I held off on calories and would grab as many cups of water and ice as I could and slurp and dump. I always put ice in the back of my jersey and I believe that this is the only way I can stay cool enough not to overheat and explode. By mile 4, I took the gel and one more salt stick. I could not focus on speed as I was battling with my mind to "RUN THE RUN" and not about "PICK UP THE PACE"
During this LONG 10K (maybe my longest ever), I was able to "RUN THE RUN" because I had a talk with myself. I knew in 6 weeks I would be running 13.1 miles at the end of a race and in 21 weeks I would be running 26.2 miles. I had to suck it up and keep running. I felt ashamed of my thoughts which included stopping after 1 loop, walking, or just laying down and taking a nap because I know I AM AN IRONMAN....or I was back in November of 2012. So many questions about how I can be so slow on the run, why I can't push myself harder on the run, why working on speed on the bike does not make me a faster runner, why, why, why and then back to that original question of why I signed up for my first Ironman back then when I started asking myself WHY NOT instead of WHY! Being on the podium is not WHY I race, but it would be nice to cap off a good swim and bike with a good run! So my work is not done here, it has just begun. We must not only REMEMBER who we are, but how we got to be that person in the first place.....through hard work, dedication, and focus and a lot of blood, sweat and tears. So today was about managing the challenges that came my way and staying calm. I ended up 6th out of 17 in my age group today. I had a decent bike and swim trying to see how much I could push myself and battle with my mind to finish the job.
Don't lose sight of what you are capable of even in your darkest moments. When I hit a rough patch, I like to foreshadow what it will be like when those thoughts will pass and the race will be over and you only remember small clips from your day. My mantras on my run today were "RUN THE RUN and "YOU ARE AN IRONMAN" (that is a big title to live up to and something that helps remind me what I am made up of and even though it was Esprit de She: day to celebrate SUGAR AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE, an IRONMAN needs to be made up of so much more....so out with the sugar and spice, I need to go shopping for some heavy metal and octane fuel.
SPECIAL THANKS TO TIM NORTON For taking many of the great pics and for my friend who share their pics!
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