One day blends into the next. One workout blends into another. Monday morning your co-workers ask, "How was your weekend" and you pause and have to think because you are too tired to remember what you actually did. Oh yes, I remember... .it went something like this: Open Water Swim on Friday followed by 3 hour nap, 70 mile bike ride on Saturday including hills followed by lying on my floor for an hour (or maybe the rest of the day), and interval run workout on Sunday after pleading with myself to just get out of bed and try it. I can't remember what I did earlier in the week ....mmm????? Oh, yes, I did a 13.5 mile run on Tuesday so I would not have to do it on Sunday after my long ride on Saturday and I am sure there were a few other workouts because I am training for an Ironman, you know. Good thing I record my workouts in Training Peaks in case I really want to remember.
I have hit that phase in my training where I am walking around in a fog. I need more naps between workouts, my house is filled with trash, dirty dishes piled up in the sink and dirty laundry lining the floor and clean workout clothes hanging on racks. I can fall asleep, but I wake up a few times during the night in anticipation of the 4:30 alarm. Each time I wake, I say oh good, I can sleep for one more hour and that happens several times until I finally doze off into a deep sleep and the alarm really goes off.
The pain and discomfort of workouts makes me question my purpose in triathlon as I ramp up the intensity. Even more so, the entire scenario reminds me of the state of pregnancy and childbirth (and you men will just have to take my word on that) where you walk around in a fog, have all kinds of crazy food cravings, you are forgetful, moody, and when you experience a moment of what you think is the most unbearable pain....the workout ends, you are feeling high, glowing, jubilation and then you forgot about everything you just did and you wake up and do it all over again.
Everything in my life centers around triathlon, even my home made mother's day card had a swim, bike, run logo and said TRIATHLON on the front. I am not sure whether to take that as my son being proud of his mother the triathlete or that is a message that I have gone too far!
In between foggy periods, I have more lucid moments where I truly know what I am doing and I sit down and work on my training plan, analyze data and revise. I plan for training and racing weekends with my triathlete friends. We discuss and debate everything triathlon. Eventhough an hour prior to a workout, I could barely get off the couch, I muster up the strength to do the next workout with an occasional skipped session because fatigue won the battle or life stepped in. Remember, I am a mother, wife, physical therapist, and sister too.
I would tell you about the great workout I had today, but I forget. Maybe I will remember tomorrow.
This is one reason I choose to blog about this amazing journey because you spend hours and hours preparing for your A race, a day at the event, and a week sharing your story and then it slowly fades away. When you do an Ironman, you have to write down the account very quickly because it too will disappear as you go into an altered state of consciousness for a day and when you wake up you will have a medal and some flashbacks. I wish there was a pair of glasses I could wear to make each moment and memory crisp and clear, but I suppose there is a reason we don't remember it all. I will cherish those moments that I keep in my memory bank and just keep tri-ing!
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