Filling a Void/Rebirth of a Human

The question continues to pop up of  "why".  Why are you on this journey?  Why did you sign up for the AZ IM?  Why did you sign up when you thought you knew how to swim, but you really didn't?  You thought you could ride the Purple Chameleon, but you are wasting a lot of energy and you are asking for trouble?  Why do you need to validate your worth through a silly medal?  Why, why, why!?!!?!

And then I remind myself of why I made this decision, because for one moment, I decided WHY NOT?  And so I am on this journey because the question is no longer why, but why not.  No matter how many times I will have to remind myself.  A time when I have permission to use a "negative", the word "not".

I find myself asking how do my team-mates follow the plan day in and day out.  What is it that keeps them going each day and for wanting more, more, more.  I am finding that despite my body being exhausted, it has started to crave more.  Not only more miles, harder workouts, and more facebook friends, but more of the energy that is filling an empty void in my life.

Going through the daily motions of life, we often lose our selves.  I was out with my friend the other night and I apologized for talking so much about my training and hoped that she could bare with me for 9 more months and she responded that she enjoyed seeing me passionate about something.  Ah ha, that is what was missing...PASSION.  A true love and desire that keeps one moving with energy from day to day.  Passion can zap you, but it keeps you accelerating.  I believe that this journey has giving me new purpose in my life and for that I am grateful.

In reality, there is a cost....time (the hours driving to group workouts, the workouts themself, the time away from family), money (bike parts, bikes, bike shoes, running shoes, clothes, goggles, gels, electrolytes, race fees, gas, travel, you get the pic), and energy (effort you can spend at any given moment). 

Next there is RE-EDUCATION.  Taking old motor programs and throwing them in the trash and trying to learn new motor programs.  Re-programming the body and mind.  Keeping the old frame, but replacing it with new parts just like my road bike.

Thus the total is a re-birth of a human.  One that is no longer alone, one that connects with people at different levels, one that looks at her family with love, admiration and appreciation, one that is willing to work harder, one that has to be open to change, one who has to accept feedback, one that is fitter, faster, stronger and just better overall.  That is the product that will be crossing the finish line in November, somone renewed, somone who looks familiar, but is different.  That is WHY I hope to be an Ironman.  Why Not?  Right.

From the Iron Turtle

The Bike Saga Continues: Help is on its way!

For my bike fans who have tried to offer me their support and advice, here is an update on the search for a tri bike.  Despite people’s best efforts to help me (and thanks to all of you for your efforts), I did not feel like I was on the right path, so I contacted Jeff Lockwood (Lifesport, Inc.) who is an independent consultant, bike fitter and cycling coach.  He works as a team with his wife Jackie who is a retired pro triathlete and cyclist and retired physical therapist.  They teach bike fitting to therapists that work with cyclists that have concurrent orthopedic issues.  With my background as a PT and talking to Jeff for an hour on the phone and learning he has experience with women my size and smaller, I decided he was the Fitter for the Job.

It was not really as simple as going into a shop and trying out a bike because even on an XS frame, I am unable to reach the pedals to ride the bike. 

If you read this from an email he sent me you will learn about what tools he uses during his assessment.

The primary issue is crank length.  It is ground zero for bike fit.  To this point in your bike search, no one has understood or cared to address the issue of appropriate crank length.

During my evaluation I will be able to see your current fit on your road bike.  Right or wrong I will have a reference point to work from.  I use motion capture video analysis (Dartfish) that measures angles of joints in motion and understanding the biomechanics that drive length/tension relationships will allow me to see precisely how far off you are in any of the fit parameters.  I have a computer aided design program (Bike CAD Pro 6.53)for making any bicycle in the world.  Once I determine the crank length, saddle height and set back along with issues at the cockpit I can configure a bike to ensure it can fit you. 

It is more important to understand the nature of the athlete in proportion, flexibility and composition than straddling a bike it see if it fits.  This is a common problem and why most bike shops are not fully equipped to do a professional fit.  They are good for getting you to the right zip code but a good bike fit requires the correct street address. 

The first step on Friday is to see how you fit and function on your current bike.  I will use a computrainer to do a spin scan analysis which measures torque and graphs it to see where you are producing power.  The ability to pedal well leads to performance.  Along with the video capture I will have a good idea of your current limitations and necessary changes to get you riding with greater efficiency. 

Someone Listened/Assessment Day:  Jeff and his wife Jackie spent 6 hours with me yesterday.  The process was to set up my bike and perform the video analysis the way that I have been riding.  I was able to produce speed but required 30 more watts of energy to go the same speed as the bike dummy on the computer.  The program was able to look at the position of my foot over the course of the circle (measuring every 30 degrees) and assess how much energy was being lost or gained in each phase of the cycle.  Jeff was also able to show me the angles of my joints and correlate that to muscle firing or lack of firing in each position.  We were also able to see the compensations that I have been making in order to actually complete a cycle at my wrists, arms, trunk, hips, knees, and feet. The issues that he found were that my cockpit was too narrow and placed in the wrong position, my hip and knee and foot angles were limiting my ability to make a complete circle and I was stopping at the bottom of the circle, my pedal stroke is asymmetrical and the left foot is collapsing, my upper body was compensating with a lot of excess motion/rotation at shoulders, arms and wrists to help bring my legs around as I did not have space to complete the circle, etc. etc.(Let’s just say, it did not look pretty and now I know what everyone has been talking about when they look at me on my bike!).

Then he made corrections to my bike by changing out the cranks, seat height, changed out the cockpit putting wider bars on, changed out the pedals and put support in my shoe and had me ride again.  He worked on my technique and was able to show me how my hip and knee angles opened up by changing my position and technique (which needs a lot of work).  He was able to superimpose the second image over the first.

Then he took the configuration of the proper fit and worked it onto the geometry of a Cannondale Slice and showed me how he could modify this bike to fit me by changing the cranks and cockpit on this bike because it supports the geometry needed to get me in the proper position.  The one question that remains is finding a seat that will work with geometry on this bike as we only have 7mm of height to work with.  Most of the other XS frames have the same issue with seat height and the top tube being too long as well as not having the ability to adjust the seat angle (this part I don’t fully understand).  You can only lower a seat so far and that affects the position of everything else.  He has had great success by shortening the crank to get the smaller rider in the correct position.

We decided to make the changes on my current bike and get me in the proper position and work on my technique to prepare for a tri bike where I will be seated in the exact same position with the exception of moving my arms into the aero position.

Changes that he plans to make on my current bike include:

• Changing cranks to 150 from 165
• Raising Seat/trying out different seat
• Changing to wider bars/cockpit to accommodate my shoulder width and getting bars in proper position so I can ride down on the drops using smaller stem as well as correcting my hand and arm position and getting bars in correct position
• Possibly changing to a more rigid shoe with inserts for more support to stop the collapse of my left foot and easier to manage pedal for myself

Those changes will allow me to be seated in the proper position so I have full space to pedal in a circle and proper alignment to engage my cycling muscles fully and enable the proper height and position of the cockpit.

The wider bars will allow my hands and arms to be in the proper position.

The recommendations for a tri bike will be based on how I respond to the changes on my current bike (which I am going to work with Jeff and a shop he uses to make those changes happen.  He did not pressure me to select any particular bike or use any shop, but I would like to continue working with him and it makes more sense to work with people that he has a good relationship with.).  He will refit me on my bike and work on my technique and then send me off to practice.

The recommendations for the tri-bike if we find a workable seat would be to modify a Cannondale Slice 105 with 150 cranks, a different cockpit, smaller stem, new wheels (to make bike lighter), and different shoes and pedals.  They recommended shoes with a firmer heel cup and I loved pedals they had which I could easily clip in and out of (unlike mine).

He spent so much time with me and I feel really good about him being able to help me.  The fee was high, but I am getting a lot for my money and I would highly recommend this experience for anyone having significant fit issues, hard to fit riders, or any injuries they are dealing with that might be related to fit.  I know a lot of people have their favorite shops and fitters, but for me I think I am in the right place now.  There is only one way for me to go and that is up in my performance.  If anyone is interested in attending a future session with me, please let me know.  The video analysis was a most valuable eye opening experience for me and was a great tool to help me understand the correct pedaling motion.  I have to say a  lot of it was over my head, but Jeff spent much time going over each angle of my body and he and his wife have so much knowledge about every aspect of the bike itself and how to find the best ride.  My head was spinning.

I will probably have a few more visits with Jeff than most of his clients that just come in for a fit as we will be refitting my bike and hopefully fitting a new tri bike with modifications.  They basically took my bike apart yesterday, let me ride in a better position and then put it back together in the old configuration until we get all the parts.

Now I not only have to relearn to swim, but I will be relearning to ride my bike.  I am sure relearning to run is in the near future.

A part of this is putting your trust in people but you have to find the right person to give that trust to.

Thank all of you for your help and support along this journey.

The IRON TURTLE aka Beth

Jeff Lockwood can be reached by email at lifesport@cox.net

9 Months and Counting, Time sure flies when you are on the run!

When you are training for Ironman, you wish you could slow the clock down.  The first month of training has gone by so quickly and I can only wish for more time, wondering if taking this task on in a year's time might have been a stretch.  My husband and I were watching the "Leadville 100" and they interviewed a panel of riders who talked about the moments of doubt and the athlete's remarkable ability to push past that and push on to the end.  Most athlete's can reach into their soul and travel to a place deep inside to overcome the challenges presented along the way.  In that race you have 12 hours to reach the finish.  Then we watched the documentary called "Ride the Divide", where 15 riders took on the challenge to ride on trails from Banff Canada 2700 miles across the Continental Divide to Mexico.  Only 5 finished.  You can learn a lot by studying other people's journeys.  You can even train for how your mind and body will react to change to some degree to prepare for events that may occur on the route.  The facts are that sometimes there are things that will occur that are beyond your control and you do the best you can in that moment and you deal with the levels of the mind and trying to keep it on the path to reach the goal you originally set which was to finish.  It is all about preparing for that moment.

This week was a good one and the training effects are starting to add up.  I compare it to those that have summited the largest peaks in the world.  They spend a lot of time at the different base camps learning and preparing for the climb.  I would say that I am still at Base Camp 1, but each day the workouts add up to produce more strength and stamina.  The weeks seem to start off slow and focus on strength and speed and then pick up in intensity and endurance over the last 3 days.  You are counting down the miles to get to your rest day.  Friday was a good swim workout and a 3 mile run, Saturday was a 2 hour bike ride, and Sunday was a 6 mile run and an hour swim workout.  I think the Sunday long runs are going to be hard, but I settle into them as I realize it is practice running on tired legs.  This week was my down week on the periodization cycle, so more time and distance will build up again in the next 2 weeks.

I had my eye on a faster swim lane, but you really need to watch what you wish for as I got placed into a fast lane which relieved me of working on technique, but challenged my aerobic and anaerobic capacity.  I was now at the back of the lane instead of front, but in the end, the challenging workout is what makes you both physically and mentally stronger.  So just when I thought the swim workout was going to be an easy taper to a busy week, I was pushed just a little more.  This is what it is all about, pushing yourself, just a little more!

Bonus activities included a flat tire clinic before the bike ride on Saturday.  I find this to be one of the hardest skills, but another one to practice in the event your are victim of the single or double flat on race day.  One of my weakest muscle groups are in my hands and fingers.....so guess what.....add one more thing to work on to the "list".

I also made an attempt to test drive some XS bikes at a different TRI shop and it did not go so well.  The fitter took one look at me and said I needed to go custom.  They were busy in the shop and catering to the more elite rider and after waiting around for almost 3 hours to get more help, I was pretty much pushed out of the shop.  I never did get a test ride in.  Frustrated and dismayed trying to get the right answers, I reached out to a local expert who has a background in fitting and coaching all levels of cyclists as well as working together with his wife who is a PT and a pro triathlete and he has fitted many short riders.  We talked for an hour and I agreed that he would be the one to help me find the right bike.  There are a lot of fitters in town, but most shops and fitters really do not know the best way to help me (as most short women are riding the wrong size bike in my opinon).  They start by taking a few measurements and then they just don't have the time, interest or knowledge to help someone that does not fit on the average frame.  So, now that I have provoked 3 or 4 bike shops to find me the right bike, I decided to bite the bullet and pay a professional with expertise in this arena, not to mention working very closely with a PT helps my mindset since I share that background.

I am thankful for coaches, for my little purple bike (who is now nicknamed 'Camele'  short for 'Purple Cameleon' as my coash said it should have a human name), and all my teammies that support each other and share in the hard work. 

Ride on!

Getting Stronger

All these workouts must have some purpose.  The workouts don't get easier, but I am moving a little faster and better than I was a month ago.  The 1 legged pedaling drills and mighty hills are making me stronger on my bike.  The redundant rotational, side glides, and long pulls in the water have made it hard for me to coordinate my breathing, but when I am in the water with my teammates, I push myself harder.  When I am running on the track and behind everyone else, I try harder to close the gap.  The weight training and balance activities and stretching seem to be getting me through the runs, but I don't feel any closer to being able to run in a race yet.  As everyone else particpates in half and full marathons around me, I know for sure my next marathon will probabably be after I swim 2.4 miles and bike 111 miles in November!

Speaking of races, the first triathlon is coming up since signing up for IM.  The last one I did was in November.  It will be interesting to see how everything unfolds in 8 weeks when I do an Olympic Distance in the Tempe Town Lake  at the Marquee Triathlon (practice on IM course, home advantage, yeah...turtle needs all the home advantage she can get!).  I was signed up for the half but I am switching to Olympic while my coach is focusing on technique and not distance.

The only thing I have not been ready to face is my weight.  I need to get to a lighter racing weight and all I have felt lately is hunger.  So, I need to bite the bullet and get the nutrition under control.  How many things can one change at a time....so hopefully now that I am in the routine of the Racelab workouts, I will keep my food log as my coach asked of me so she can advise me.

The other question is how hard do you push?  When your body starts to break down, do you push forward or do you give it rest?  Today was especially hard to get up out of bed and I finally did and had some leeway to start my bike ride around 8 am and it ended up being strong, but I have a bit of a sore throat.  Part of me thinks these are opportunities to train under adversity, but the other part of me knows sometimes if you push too hard, you lose more time in the end.  It is all a balancing act.  Now I have a coach to consult with instead of battling with my conscience, I can battle with her (or follow her orders, as Coach knows Best!).

Lastly, the bike search is still on.  I was a bit discouraged after letting several people take measurements and try to steer me in the right direction.  My friend and I made a spreadsheet of most of the available XS tri bikes out there and we are in the process of comparing them.  Besides finding the best fit, the other problem is actually finding bikes to actually ride and try out.  Most shops in AZ, do not keep XS frames in their store, so I started checking in California and a trip to visit my ulracyclist brother is possibility.  In the meantime, I have found a few bikes locally including Cervelo P1 and P2, Cannondale Slice 105, and possibly a Kestral 4000 to try out.  Tomorrow will be a bike fashion show for me to test drive a few.  The only XS Felts (which I really want to try) are in San Diego.  I also learned the Trek Truck is coming through in March and would have an XS Speed Concept on it.  So let's hope by the end of March, I am training in the aero position.  In the meantime, the Purple Cameleon is making me work hard and I will only be stronger for it.

That is the mid week update.  This weekend is an easier weekend which seems like good timing as my body is starting to break down.  More turtle tales to come soon at a blogspot near you!

280 Days to Go!

40 weeks and counting.  That does not sound that far off.  May the body and mind get in sync over the next 280 days.  The training feels good.  Happy to be done with another week.  Sunday afternoons will be my favorite time when you finish your last lap and you know you have earned a day off.  This week I completed 4 swim workouts, 3 runs, and 3 bike workouts along with 2 weight training sessions and more stretching and balance work.  I experienced more tightness in the calves, but the compression socks, electrolytes and stretching are helping.  I am no longer bored, I now have people to talk to that speak my language, and half of my time is spent with the after effects of a hard workout ( a calm inner peace).    Peace out.  Time to cook a hardy meal and relax and watch the Grammy's.  The best music is the beat that plays over and over in your mind while you are running, biking and swimming.

A Tired Turtle is put to the Test

What is Ironman?  Is it a class that lasts for 12 months with a new lesson each day.  One day builds on the next and many of the lessons are taught over and over until the messages stick.  The final exam takes place on race day.  Today was quite a class!  After last weeks long ride which was more of a hill training ride, I declared that I would have preferred to do some hill training before attempting the climb to the Towers at South Mountain, but in the end I felt stronger this week, so I could see the benefit of climbing a hill on a bike.  I am even starting to reap the benefits of training with a group and having a coach.  So, I decide to join in on the scenic bike course today at Canyon Lake in Apache Junction.  Driving in the dark is just more practice for race day to get to the start.  The last 20 minutes the road narrowed and suddenly the turtle finds herself on a windy road leading into a beautiful canyon at the base of which is a lake.  I started thinking that last weeks ride now seemed reasonable and the fear factor just doubled in size.  I had to talk myself off the cliff and trust my coach.  Why would she invite me out here to climb even steeper longer hills.  I started believing this initiation is not about the physical, but how much of the mental strength I could find to reach the top of this hill for that is what I will need on race day.  When my coach passed me in the bright yellow truck, I yelled to her that I would thank her for this when I finished the Ironman (and she yelled back, "yes, you will").  Not only were the climbs long and steep, but the upward side had a head wind stronger than I had ever felt.  I was wondering why my bike did not feel like it was really moving.  Then I thought this ride was about separating the pansies from the petunias.  Was I going to be a pansy and quit or was a going to battle it out and push through the wind, heavy legs, and mental war going on in my head.  This was a 3 hour ride and I would possibly be moving for 14 more hours on race day.  Ok, I decided....this is war.  I will not defeat myself, I will join forces and attack!  So it was very exciting to get to the top the first time, but I did not realize how steep the climb was until the downhill side started and the truth is the sorest part of my body is my arms and wrists from holding onto my bars and breaks for dear life.  The return trip was fast and furious not to mention frightening!  Not too thrilled about only being half way down and having to to the trek one more time, I turned around and headed up the pass for my second round thinking it would be easier the second time.  I was short of reaching the top on trip 2 by a mile or so because my coach has us ride by time, not distance, but I was able to complete the steepest, longest section.  I was almost home free with about 2 miles left to go and I got a flat.  Luckily my coach embraced the moment and did a tire changing clinic on the scene.  She had some great tips like using an empty gel pack on the inside of the tube at the puncture site and use a CO2 cartridge.  I will never use a hand pump again except for last resort of course.  You should always have a plan a, b, and c!

So this turtle feels tested and tired, but plans to show up for class again tomorrow!

Fountain of Youth

I have been swimming in my community pool since moving into my neighborhood for the past 13 years.  They even built a beautiful aquatic center 1 mile from my house, but I usually opt for the 5 minute walk to my private overheated haven with an occasional other swimmer. 

Now that I have joined a group, they train at the student rec center at ASU.  There is something rejuvinating about just being on a college campus.  It brings back memories of the building called TREES HALL that I spent 6 years in taking classes, swimming, hanging out with other students, playing racquetball, lifting weights and visiting my dad's office at the University of Pittsburgh.  So now I take the 30 minute drive down to ASU several times a week to train with a team in my new found fountain of youth.  There is something in the water there that energizes you and it is a few miles from the AZ Ironman course, so I am buying it, one swim workout at a time.

Coach Knows Best

This week I feel as though I have regressed back into my teen years where I feel a bit rebellious though I am seeking guidance, comfort and support from a greater power, my head master.  (I am all too familiar with this now as a mother of a tween). How contradictory, right!  My coach/mother figure tells me what to do and I roll my eyes not believing that she knows what she is talking about and that she knows what is best for me. 

But remember, a mother is always right.  You just have to have a little faith and so must a coach always be right.  So even though you don’t believe everything she says, in the end, she knows what she is talking about or at least she has a way of making you feel better.  Your pain will go away.  You will learn more efficient techniques.  You will peak at the right time and as she reminded me, You will be loving her when you cross the finish line and You are an Ironman!

When you have the impulse to go run a marathon before you are ready or push a little harder on your bike ride, remember coach knows best.  When she tells you to hydrate, take electrolytes, stretch, eat right, and go to bed early, remember coach knows best.  When you can’t get out of bed and you want to hit the snooze button, remember coach knows best.

If the teen in you rebels and takes over, remember to be brave and admit that you were wrong.  Sometimes teens have to learn the hard way from experience and failure.  Then again, remember you hired a coach because you decided that you wanted the motherly love, discipline, and guidance to help make you an Ironman.  Be open to letting her teach you the best strategies to adapt to the circumstances and events that will occur on your big day.

Now Back to the Future…….or back to training and don’t forget to listen to your coach.

Turtle Survives Another Week of Initiation into the Club

The exclusive club is an understatement.  When you embark on this journey, you for some reason have a desire for membership in the IRONMAN club.  You have to pay your dues just to join this exclusive club including volunteering at the event the prior year to purchasing all the necessary equipment to finding a group to train with, etc.  Some sign up on a whim and then pay their dues after the fact while others have been working up to this slowly for years.  Regardless, you have to commit with your gut, your heart, and don't forget your wallet.  A temporary loss of insanity is helpful too as one of my team mates turned to me during our swim workout and asked me to remind him why we were paying to do this to ourselves.  There is a price to pay to hear the words, "YOU ARE AN IRONMAN" and the costs start right at the beginning.

So the first few weeks of training with a group are like initiation into the PRE-CLUB.  You are torn apart before you can be built back up.  Your coach dissects your form and technique and breaks each sport into smaller parts called DRILLS which is an appropriate name as you feel like ideas are being drilled into your head and body over and over again.  You question what was wrong with the way you did things before and then you have to remind yourself to just have a little faith in the process.  You pray that after you are taken a part piece by piece, you can be rebuilt better, faster and stronger than before (sounds like the bionic man).

Despite trying to teach an old turtle some new tricks, this week went a little smoother.  My calf tightness seems to be resolving and I was able to participate fully in the track workout and able to complete an hour long run and a 2 1/2 hour bike ride and 3 swim workouts which continue to focus on the latest and greatest swimming techniques and lot of strength and flexibility training.  I am feeling STRONG and TIRED if that is possible.  The long bike ride took place at a park called South Mountain in Phoenix and there are 2 popular routes among local cyclist and runners.  First is a rolling down hill course which is fast until the turn around where you have to go more up than down and then there is the 5 mile trek to the radio towers which had several steep sections and switch backs.  My coach gave me the green light to head up the pass and so I took one of my new training buddies Amy with me who is new to road cycling and was encouraging her to just go as far as she could and before I know it she took off and was climbing fast and strong, while the turtle was working so hard and had to use the granny gear to get up the steep sections.  (BTW, Amy is the rookie to watch!).  Half way up, I felt I could make it not knowing there was yet a steeper and more challenging half waiting around the next turn.  Another team mate, Brian leisurely road by and waited for me on the top.  The last couple hundred yards were the hardest and eventhough another friend had told me to take it easy and not worry cause I might not make it to the top on my first try, I had gone that far, so I was not going to stop until I was on top.  I had to huff and puff to get there and I really thought I was going to experience what upchucking on the bike was like (as I had read about in "17 Hours of Glory", but my breakfast stayed down).  Next time you try to climb a mountain pass, my recommendation is to do some short hill training first, but after I was having negative thoughts about every thing, I was happy and satisfied on my drive home thinking about making 2 trips to the top next time!

I am looking forward to looking back each month and seeing how far I have come as even the shorter workouts seem challenging and the thought of 15 to 17 hours of swimming, biking and running is hard to even visualize in my mind.  Part of the fun of triathlon is the training period where you start at the base and get stronger and stronger.  It is amazing after you complete an event, how many times you start this process over, but if I did not enjoy the process, I would not be here.

Anyhow, I think this initiation period is just beginning and the turtle's shell is starting to shine.  The upcoming week, I am going to seriously shop for a new tri-bike.  Wish me luck to find wheels that will help this turtle fly! 

to be cont'