I can't tell you how many times I retired from triathlons during the Mountain Man Triathlon yesterday. I have been told by more then one person that I am very "rigid" in my comfort zone and my tolerance for pushing myself to step outside those limits. When you cross the finish line after a tough race and you start bawling because your body was pushed to the point of no return, you have to wonder if you gave it your all and how you possibly could have given more. Triathletes live in a world of inner conflict. The thought of going off the road into the forest and just lying down occurred to me more then one time during the long 13.1 mile run portion at the end of my race or hitchhiking back to the start. I was driven by the fact that all I needed to do was reach the finish line to pick up my first place age group award since no other women in AZ 50-54 dared to compete against me. All I had to do was finish. I don't have any first place prizes in triathlon (only RAFFLE prizes).
So what brought me to uncontrollable tears at the end of the day. Besides, 50 year olds don't cry! This was my last race before I turned 50, so perhaps we can factor that into this equation. I drove up to Flagstaff with my friend Teresa and headed to packet pick up at Lake Mary, chatted with old friends, went to the ONE Multisport Pre-race party, and got to bed early. We woke up in good spirits, had time for breakfast and taking care of business and everything went smoothly in transition. I had my nutrition divvied up and ready to go and all my gear laid out just right along with some "extra" options like body glide, calf sleeves, water bottles and first aide if I so needed. I hydrated with my pre-Vega workout drink I have been using the past few weeks and slathered myself with sun screen.
Headed to the swim start. I noticed my wetsuit felt tighter then usual. I was in the second wave of the swim start which was probably a group of 50 triathletes. I got in the water 8 minutes before the start. Water temperature was pleasant, took a few strokes and my arms felt loose. I realized as I started shivering, I got in the water too early, but oh well. We were off. The course was a triangle with only 2 turning buoys and a finish buoy. For the first time in my triathlon history, I felt like I could not breath. I wanted to rip my wetsuit off as I felt like someone was strangling me. I thought to myself, I don't want to be here and how am I going to swim at Chattanooga during those few seconds. I thought about was I going to have to raise my hand or roll over on my back to get help. I knew what was happening and I had a plan and coached myself to focus and relax. I told myself that I do open water swim all the time. (you always need a plan, what to do when different situations arise and I was able to retrieve the plan). As I reached the first turning buoy, I started to relax. This course is very difficult to swim straight because there are no spotting buoys and the sun although it is on your right affects your ability to see. I was very much alone for a while and could not see swimmers or kayaks ahead. I was relieved when I had 2 swimmers catch up to me and to see the Olympic turning buoy to find out I was on course and ready to reach my turning buoy and get out of the water. It felt more like a survival swim and I had a hard time getting into a rthymn and recruiting my swim motor patterns. The water was a bit choppy and I needed air every stroke, no time to relax. My time was just under 36 which was reasonable but a little slower then I like. I had no idea what my time was when I got out as I did not have a watch or see the clock. I felt beat up, but not defeated!
My transition went smoothly onto my bike, and I started off slowly to try and recover from the swim. This is why dress rehearsal is important, because it is one thing to ride your bike 56 miles but another to swim 1.2 miles first! I was in practice mode for Chattanooga ready to try out my new faster cadence and gear cadence ratio and hill work that I have been working on with my bike coach. I noticed some improvement on my uphills, but I lacked upper body strength to help the legs out as much as I would have liked. I noticed the hills went by faster, but I was always happy when I finished a steep roller thinking I only had to do that section one time, but then I learned that there were some rollers that I forgot about on the loop section that had to be conquered twice. I felt pretty strong on my first loop and managing the hills until I reached the final uphill section before you repeated the loop and my mind went south again questioning how I was going to get through this section again and how I was going to go twice the distance on a rolling course in Chattanooga. In addition, the wind picked up making it more difficult, but I took the words of my coach to stay in the moment, focus and get the job done. I treated the wind like hills and went into my small ring and down into aero and pushed through. There were many moments of silent tears on the bike, but overall I was pleased with how I handled it and disappointed with my slow average of only 15.8. I learned that my timing with changing gears is still an issue especially when I reached the peak of an uphill and needed to pick up my cadence and get back into my big ring faster to take advantage of the downhills. The other area that still needs work is having the ability to eat while I am working hard on my bike. I probably took in less than 200 calories and 2.5 bottles of liquid including electrolytes. I think I paid for the low calories later on the run which was probably short for being out there for 3.5 hours. It was a tough ride in altitude on a tough course, so now I am tougher!
At the end of my bike ride, I got bitten or stung by some insect and my right Achilles (who should be known by the name "STINGER"} started burning. So in transition I decided to take the time to put the calf sleeves I laid out just in case on to provide some compression and it did not act up again until later in the run. I also decided to go with carrying a water bottle so I could sip when I pleased. I was just happy to be off my bike and I was patient with my body and gave it time to switch into the running mode. My running garmin was not finding a signal, so I could not judge where the first mile was and there were no mile markers until you got to the 10K turn around, so I had to wing it and then I was able to start my watch around 3 miles. At 1.5 miles there is a steep hill with 1 hairpin turn. My teammates were stationed at a few locations on that hill which was so helpful to give energy and motivation. Many people walk up the hill and I had been on tougher hills at June Lake. I was determined to run, because for me once I start walking my run is over. I longed for ICE and some appeared for just one moment. The aide stations did NOT have ICE or any FOOD. The water got progressively warmer at each aide station. I was happy to have my own bottle so I could drink as needed and mix my own electrolyte mix. I went back to trying an old method of eating 2 jelly beans every mile or two. These even had electrolytes and caffeine. I felt a little surge every time I took them. Then signs started to appear saying 9 miles left to go, 8 miles to go, etc...all the way to 4 and then there were a few missing. The race thins out at this stage of the game and a few of us back of the packers are out there in the open sun trying to get to the finish.
Thoughts on the RUN: my brain was fried and I could barely breathe going up that hill to getting into a rhythm on the way down, every step forward is a victory, I can run the run, If I can run today I am set for Chattanooga, to I can't go on, please give me some Ice, Do you have ICE, Can I just throw up, I want to go lie under those trees (beautiful pine trees, but they were off the road and not providing shade), to moments of humor, tried to tell the cops helping us cross the road a joke about why the triathlete crossed the road and I wanted to say the punch line to get to the other side, but they were not interested....so I crossed and was not sure how I would walk the last 5 miles back to the finish line. Nobody was asking if I wanted a ride back, but I did want one. On the other hand, if I have to walk in Chattanooga, I should practice "the walk", plus all I have to do is cross the finish and I am FIRST IN MY AG!
After thinking I was going to be able to continue running, I ran out of steam with 7 miles to go and so began the long walk home.......20 steps jogging, walk for a few minutes, 20 steps jogging, etc. I made it to the finish. Overheated, exhausted, out of sorts about having to walk and knowing the reality of the challenges that lie ahead trying to get to the start line at Chattanooga healthy and make it to the finish line before mid-night. Dress rehearsal is about going through the motions before opening night and getting rid of the kinks. So here is hoping that the 3rd big race is going to be the CHARM and if at first you don't succeed....TRI TRI again!
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