UNFIT

Inside the turtle's shell are cramped quarters with little air.  One must slow their breathing down, close their eyes, and quiet the mind in order to survive under the shell.  It is usually a place we go for protection while we are resting or recovering, but sometimes it can be an escape from the world.  This writer usually leaves out the darkest moments of her life as she does not like to write in the dark.  Perhaps this is dishonest or may be it is only half the story being revealed.  Today, the only word that really strikes me is UNFIT, if even that is a word.  Spell check has not told me otherwise, so we will just go with it.

This week, I started breathing better.  I had hope that I was finally regaining my health and I could finally start training for my next Ironman.  I have been trying to stock up on motivational strategies to generate excitement and motivation for training including:  posting my previous Ironman Finish all over the place, changing my profile picture, signing off with the train whistle to get ready for IM Chattanooga, and watching the IRONMAN WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS in KONA on my new Smart TV.

I went out yesterday on a 37 mile bike ride which is the longest ride in the last few months and finally felt like my legs were connected to the rest of my body .  For that I was grateful, but then the truth was revealed in how difficult the ride was for me.  It was not too hot, too cold, too hilly, or too flat, it was simply that I am UNFIT.  What would once be an easy short ride took a great deal of time and effort.  It is not something I am unwilling to give, but it is certainly discouraging to look back at your abilities a year ago, especially when you see other athletes preparing for their Ironman races.  (I also ran 1 hour and swam 30 minutes this week..so sad that those feel like the IM distance at this very moment).  You are almost willing to KILL for that feeling of determination, strength and invisibility for just one more day.  But that feeling is EARNED.  Even the pros rarely give up a few days of training to sustain the ability to be at the top of their game at the right moment.

Life happens and keeping up an Ironman pace of life for a recreational athlete is not always top priority.  Instead of looking at being unfit as depressing and staying inside my shell, I know I need to FIGHT and earn back the fitness that makes you strong in mind, body and spirit to TRI another day.  It is just hard when you are knocked down to the ground.

I am trying to remember this bottom of the barrel feeling so each month when I look back, I don't get discouraged as I am slowly climbing back to the top of my game.  Let me imagine now what it will look and feel like in 50 weeks when I am 50 years old and competing in my 2nd Ironman race fit and strong and ready to go.  It is a hard image to focus on, but I am going to create this picture in my mind until my painting comes to life!  In the mean time.....I JUST KEEP TRI-ING!

WHISTLE WHILE YOU TRI


High Ho, High Ho, Back to Work We Go
With a Hee Hee Hee and a Ha, Ha, Ha
High Ho High Ho High Ho

With a swim, swim, swim and a run run run
And a pedal pedal pedal, being unfit is so not fun
High Ho, High Ho, Back to Tri We Go