LEGAL SEPARATION: TRI-ING TO WORK
THINGS OUT
I have filed for legal separation from
Triathlon until I work things out with me, myself and “I”or is
it me, myself and “TRI” (which ever trio you are married to).
All good things do come in threes (and sometimes bad things) and I do
hope to work things out with my true love, “triathlon”. After
Oceanside 70.3, my energy levels went back down and I was finally
able to take the break that my body and mind truly needed and was
recommended 6 months earlier after completing Chattanooga.
Despite the ongoing struggle with my
stamina, I had built up some nice momentum on my bike improving my
climbing skills to make it up the hills of Oceanside and I was even
hoping to continue to go UP. Instead, I parked my bike on the wall
in my house and one day off lead to another and I finally gave
Scottie the bike my blessing to take a staycation (a vacation where
you stay at home). The longer I was separated from my bike, the less
desire I had to ride. The thought of riding is making me anxious
about the energy costs and being on the road again with traffic.
Without the worry or pressure of an upcoming race, I am happy to
report a lot of my training distress has disappeared and I don't feel
guilty for this prolonged break from cycling. I think it is a mutual
agreement that we needed this 2 month separation. I have not taken
more then a week off from riding since I began triathlons 5 years
ago. All relationships go through trials and tribulations and
sometimes a break is a must for repair and rejuvenation. Only time
will tell when we start to reunite if we were meant for each other.
TIME FOR CHANGE:
I still had a plan for my near future
during this time apart and that was to work on my health and fitness
through some less competitive activities like yoga and weight
training. I also picked my weakest sport or my limitors as Joe
Friel likes to call it and decided to focus more on that and signed
up for RUNNING SCHOOL with my track coach which turned out to be a
private one on one running school and individual coaching so I hit
the jackpot when nobody else showed up to class. I did not realize
there was more to running then putting one front in front of the
other and trying to move faster, but just like the other 2 sports and
the advances in motion analysis and biomechanics, there are optimal
postures, technique and cadence for running and you need to have
adequate range of motion and strength in the muscles that propel the
body to prevent injury and go faster. I have so much homework and it
is fun to have something besides nothing to focus on during a run.
Usually I prefer to think about nothing during endurance sports and
can appreciate the meditative time, but running has been harder for
me to get past the discomfort and into the zone and I am having fun.
It is refreshing to try something new and be back in school!
I even signed up for a summer running
series to have a small challenge to keep me honest and to track my
progress with running and hope that when and if I return to triathlon
I will be able to “run the runs” and improve. More then
anything, I longed for something short. I loved running in my first
5K race in years because who runs or even pays for a short 5K anymore
when there are marathons and Ironman triathlons. I found it to be
just as challenging in the heat of it, but thankful it came to an end
before I could get comfortable with the discomfort as one does in a
long distance race. You can push a little harder because you know
the end will arrive sooner. Who knows maybe the 5K will come back
into style. Just like fashion, sports events are cyclical and while
a lot of people are running through mud, bubbles, obstalces or paint
or tackling long and longer events, it is refreshing to do a basic
5K. I think the tables are turning.
HEALING:
Not that I have been completely
faithful, but I have been cheating on triathlon for a while now with
my new passion, YOGA. It is an affair of the heart and soul you
could say. I have been practicing yoga for almost 6 months now.
What yoga did for me when I needed it most was allowed me to accept
myself for who I am and what I could do at any given moment. It is
gentler and more forgiving then triathlon miles on your body although
holding postures and breathing are no cake walk. There is no
competition between students and each individual develops their own
practice meaning you do not all have to go the same distance, you do
what your body allows. As granola as it sounds, yoga is pure joy,
love, and acceptance not to mention flexibility, strength and
balance. So it might seem like I was unfaithful but this could only
strengthen my relationship with triathlon in the future.
This past month my studio hosted a yoga
challenge to encourage students to develop their practice. All you
need to bring is yourself and your mat (and in my case a few props)
and the willingess to TRI (oh I can't go anywhere without tri-ing in
one way or another). The challenge was to complete 30 classes in 30
days and I am 8 classes away. Plus I was motivated to WIN a free
month of yoga! I still love to win! It has been fun meeting some
less competitive souls and sharing the joys of yoga with an accepting
non competitive group of people. Yoga has helped me learn to breathe
when times are tough, relax, and accept myself for what I can do at
any given moment and to forgive myself when I am not perfect.
Yoga has been medicine for my soul
because triathlon is one of the most competitive sports I have come
across. Athletes are tough on their bodies, judgmental about their
performances, lack confidence in their readiness, want to improve at
all costs to beat their times and those of their competitors. They
are always planning their next event before crossing the finish line
regardless of allowing adequate time for recovery or considering the
costs, or prioritizing health in order to keep the adrenaline rush
going. It is human nature to strive to be the best we can be and
desire a place on the podium but when your body and mind are not
aligned and training is not going your way, we have to remember that
triathlon is about a lot more then winning. This growing sport
sparks the desire of many to challenge themselves to become faster
and stronger. The fitness industry has been able to entice athletes
into reaching deep into their pockets to achieve their personal best
by hiring coaches, reading the latest books on how to get better,
buying the latest gear and equipment that will shave seconds off your
time, and sign up for catered events. Sometimes the love of the
sport gets lost in the competition and pressures of doing what
everyone else is doing. How many races can you do, how many Ironman
can you complete, how many challenging courses can you conquer, how
many consecutive races can you do, how many years can you keep going,
maybe being an Ironman is too simple and there is something bigger.
For some there is no end in sight. Others spend many weeks injured
and tormented by taking time to heal. Then athletes like myself may
feel like it they do one more race, they might explode or wake up in
the middle of the night and throw their bike off a cliff. I spent
most of the past year or so struggling in my training and with my
health and I had more bad workouts then good and my times were
getting slower. As much as I was tormented by the possibility of not
starting a race I committed to, I could not let go of finishing what
I signed up for with my club. So I stumbled through Oceanside stayed
in an unhealthy relationship and I paid the price. It was time to
heal and that is what I have been doing. I needed to come to terms
that happiness cannot be tied to performance, only effort.
Sometimes you have to step away before you can mend.
THERAPY: TRI-ING TO MAKE MY WAY BACK:
The water. A place that I usually am
at ease with can lose its buoyancy and become a resistant environment
when you take a break. I swim once in a while which is good for
keeping the stroke alive. I miss my time in the water and I miss
feeling at ease. Friday mornings at the lake are enough to motivate
me to get back in. I love spending my morning watching the sunrise
while rythmically dancing through the sea. Everyone that goes shares
the love of the water or they are just cramming for a race to find
comfort and ease for an upcoming event. I think the water will
foregive me for this lengthy separation and we will find peace
together soon again.
FINDING STRENGTH:
Taking away the pressure of an upcoming
race has helped me find the courage to do the things that don't come
easy. Getting stronger and trying to convince my body that high
intensity workouts and strength training will help me find my way
back to this sport. What about the Core? I thought it was all about
the base, but without the core, your base would collapse as it is the
stabilizing force. Gravity and age can work against you over time if
you let them. There seems to be some sort of PLANK conspiracy going
on out there. How many different ways can you do a plank static OR
dynamic. There must be a BOOK OF PLANKS in the works, but I have
been taught at least 10 different ways to plank over the past few
weeks.
The only way you can be in a healthy
relationship is to take care of yourself first and hope it makes you
a better person before you get back together with your love. This is
foreign territory for my body and just like running a 5K, my body is
not accustomed to these type of workouts. I am missing my base and I
think I will tolerate these workouts better if I start building the
base back up.
As my yoga challenge and running school
come to a close I will continue working on those areas and start to
build up my base and see where it leads me. In the meantime, during
this separation period, I have found enjoyment in helping other
triathletes out by Volunteering at our local races and Sagging.
There is a thrill in making another athlete's training day a little
easier or a race day a little less stressful and I have also been
learning the art of wet suit stripping.
Sometimes separation can provide great relief. It has been awesome to really take 2
months away from being a triathlete. Sometimes you work things out
and sometimes you go your separate ways. Maybe triathlon and I will
be back together or maybe the separation will continue a while
longer. Not until I actually took time off, did I realize the value
in it. So many triathletes fear time off and don't understand the
impact it has on their mental and physical well being. It has taken
me actually this amount of time to realize that taking REAL time off
was the right choice for me as challenging as it is when you are
surrounded by your energetic peers who may not understand your need.
It may just take one bike ride or just
one long run or a few months of base training to ignite the fire
inside me again to tri, but for now I am content to live from day to
day trying to balance life as I see fit in each moment.
