Turtles do have long hibernation periods in the desert or at least this turtle did. After Ironman Arizona in November and a year of very distinct focus and dedication to one goal, the flood gates were re-opened and my previous life flowed rapidly back. Several people have asked if I was going to continue my blog, so I am peeking my head out of my shell as spring has arrived. I was just trying to stay afloat consumed with picking up where I left off. We had decisions to make about things that were placed on hold while I focused on training and finishing an Ironman. My desire to have structure and commitment quickly faded away. Yet, you do feel like you have been thrown off a high speed train. Everything was planned for me over the past year and suddenly I felt like I was on my own back in the lonely world. Yet, I did not want to have to wake up at the crack of dawn or be anywhere at a specific time or do a specific workout. I had freedom and I did not want to give that up, no way, no how.
With freedom, comes responsibility and I have come to the slow realization of the things in my life that were neglected last year. Tax time is a good time to reflect as I realized I only payed my first quarter of taxes and some how forgot quarters 2 through 4 (luckily which did not turn out too badly since I was only working a few hours a week). The last thing I desired was a schedule to follow or a group to meet early in the morning before the sun did rise.
Many things get put on hold during Ironman training. We held up moving plans, working plans, being a part of my son's morning routine, taking a family vacation or making any big decisions. When the race was over, I was faced with family health issues, a decision whether to move to California, spending time with family, and planning my own future work schedule. We had some big decisions to make and they were all waiting for me at the finish line of Ironman.
I was at an awards banquet this weekend to honor a friend for mothers who were doing amazing things in their community and one thing that stuck out in my mind was about letting go. In order to accomplish important meaningful things, we have to change our expectations and be able to let go of the smaller less important tasks in life to accomplish greatness. I thought to myself, I had done that really well during my training year with the house a mess, important papers lost in piles, and a 13 year old who became self sustaining. Would you rather clean your house or go workout for a couple of hours a day? You decide. Maybe I did let go a little too much.
My commitment to "Tri-ing" for the rest of my life did not disappear. Ironman really takes a lot out of a person and their family. It takes time to recover from the physical and emotional build up from the year and the resulting side effects. I just longed for the drive to return and it has taken a while. The obsession to plan and the addiction is still present, especially when you are around your triathlon friends or you are researching races out there. Your memory of the exhiliration you feel when you are fit and when you start and finish a race make your heart start beating and your hand reaches down into your pocket for your credit card and before you know it, you have signed up for another event. Then when the high comes to an abrupt halt as you are counting the weeks left to train for this event, you think to yourself....what have I done, what have I done. On the other hand, it fuels the fire to get started again back to a level of fitness and back to a daily exercise regime. I strive for more moderation as I have decided to go back to work to support our financial goals and do purposeful work in my field helping children achieve their physical goals. I also know that my son will start high school and that gives me a minimum of 4 more years to have him under my wing. Having a 13 year old son seeking out their independence, is a great time to go train for an Ironman, but leaves you feeling like you have missed out on precious time pulls at your heart strings.
I enjoyed training with a group for Ironman, but found it time consuming. I enjoyed having a program to follow, but found it restrictive and more difficult to listen to your body and respect its signals. I missed making up my own training schedule as that was part of the fun for me and modifying it based on how I felt each time or what came up in life. If I feel like going out and riding 10 miles or 60 miles, I wanted to be able to do that. I also wanted to go back to my motto of "fitness for free" and felt that I maxed out my lifetime training budget on IRONMAN (which is a whole other blog). I no longer want to be away from home for extended periods every weekend. The downside of taking on your goals solo is the challenge to be accountable without the comradery and motivation of like minded individuals. Another thought from the awards banquet was to surround yourself with high achieving and like minded people to realize your dreams and find the greatness within. I had to consider the best way to accomplish my personal goals and go back to enjoying a more flexible schedule.
So I decided to change colors. I joined a triathlon club right in my neighborhood. You pay a small fee for the entire year to be a member and you get a road ID and t-shirt and have free daily group workouts you can participate in, social events, club meetings, and community service activities. I even won a free entry to a local triathlon in a few weeks that I had opted out of due to the high fee at my first club meeting. I have already made my membership dues back and then some so this plan fits well into my budget and motto of "fitness for free". My friends all know that if there is a raffle, I am there!
Like the seasons, changing colors is hard to do. I miss my friends in yellow, but I see them on facebook, dinners, and even sometimes on the road. You have to find the best fit for your personal needs at any given time and for me the choice to be closer to home on a low time and money budget was the right choice for me. I will be wearing orange now (and hopefully occasionally I will put my yellow back on when I meet up with my old friends). Being open to meeting new people and trying new things takes courage to once again step outside of your comfort zone. It has been nothing but fun since I am in the Ironman Club now. I feel nothing but happy when I get to share stories with another Ironman. We share an unbreakable bond and I am happy once again to have a place where I can go to speak that language and to share my experiences with someone else who is striving to do their first triathlon or their first Ironman. I want to make slower athletes feel welcome and not alone. And we could sit here and argue all day, whether I am a slower athlete or not. I still embrace who I am.
At this moment, it is wonderful to reminisce, but as far as Ironman goes, I am in the club (still tatto-less), but that was THEN and THIS is NOW! I am still a turtle. I shed my wings after Ironman and am now sprouting new wing buds. I realize wings do not last forever, but you have to earn new ones each year. So back to hard work, dedication, and most of all more FUN. For without fun, there is no reason to come out of your shell. Today is no different than any other time where I was starting from scratch to re-sculpt the body and mind back into form for the new race season. For me, it seems to be about capturing the spirit again so I can overcome the current obstacles I am facing. The best way to do it, is to take the plunge, step out of your comfort zone, take a few risks, meet some new people, change up your training and get back to it. So spring is here and the turtle is coming back, still slow and steady as EVER!
